Siblings Testimonial & Parents Testimonial
I was able to find common ground with my sister through video games. While she never really spoke then, she loved video games. I taught her the names of the characters and the events anyway and made her repeat them every time before she got a chance to play. After a while, she was helping me choose the characters and events and telling me what to do even with limited language. Now I realize that engaging her as a regular sibling when she was not engaging elsewhere, helped in her development. 
I never believed the doctors when they said all the stuff my child will never do. I never gave up. I learned my child by observing every non-verbal cue and behavior. I tried to understand what those cues and behavior meant. I worked to understand what caused them and paid attention to how my child reacted in all situations. That knowledge gave me the power to give my child the words to use that reflected the feelings that typical people would have in the same situations. I used cards with words and pictures I created to communicate. I kept talking as I would to any typical child. It didn't happen overnight but non-verbal became verbal. Lots of patience and praying.
Parent Tips for Living with
A Child with Autism
One Step At A Time
(These are suggestions that worked for parents.
Please note that all kids on the spectrum are different so its important to know your child and what works best.)
Quality therapy from a qualified therapist is significant towards helping a child with diagnosis to maximize their potential but, its the parents and family members role that is most significant.
The key to bridging the communication gap for your child is to learn their language, learn their way of communicating what's inside of them.
Overcoming some of the daily challenges with living with a child with autism means learning their language.
You must learn your child's non-verbal language and use that knowledge to help them be the best they can be.
The non-verbal part of communication is said to be about 90% of our communication with each other as humans. Therefore, you must learn what every movement or sound means in order to teach your child the right words to express themselves and to protect them.
This is especially important for a non verbal child or with limited verbal ability for you to be able to understand every expression, body movement, behavior, babble and cry.
Keep a journal if you have to, to document every thing, that happened before every behavior, good, bad or indifferent. Create the pattern with the information you create so that you can associate what situation, person, food or thing such as pain contributed to the behavior.
Once you have identified the causes of the behaviors you can create solutions based on your knowledge of your life, family and daily life situations.
This takes time and patience but it will help in the long run. Please do not give up.
Keep track of every person the child reacts to and the type of behavior displayed.
You must connect every behavior, sound and motion to a situation, thing, environment, person, food, and body response.
Use pictures and written words to communicate with the child even if you do not get a response. Keep at it.
Create words and small sentences on index cards type concept with pictures to use and to give to the child even on their person to communicate with everyone.
Help them choose which cards to use when appropriate or even let them help if possible in creating the cards.
ALWAYS supportively correct their attempts to speak by giving the correct words and pronouns. Provide then with the complete sentence always.
For example, when the child says "food" encourage/prompt them to say "I'm hungry". Keep at it with every attempt.
Learn what makes them happy and create small moments with them and the family to enjoy. When possible use that happy place to diffuse the challenging times. Its up to you to develop a formula that works best in your environment but you can definitely do it. Every little bit helps.
Use what they enjoy most and makes them happy to gain small increments of progress to replace not appropriate behavior with the correct behavior. Do not use it to punish but to reward and celebrate the accomplishments.
An important part of learning your child is understanding that they will receive and react to the daily environment different from you.
The smallest noise may be too loud.
The TV light may be overwhelming. The dog bark may be like a thundering train in their ears that causes physical pain. Your singing may be harsh and painful.
Work on creating the best you can an environment that is more sensitive to sight and sound. With baby steps create comfort first as much as possible, then work or flexibility and acceptance.
Create a safe, cozy, darkened space for your child if at all possible so they can have calming alone time to escape when there is sensory overload. This is also critical for you because it will help to lessen those related tantrums and screaming and rocking.
A cozy space can be simple as a couple chairs with a sheet draped over it in a corner, or a tent in a corner. Please DO NOT lock the child in a small closet or anywhere. The child must be able to go into and leave the calming space by themselves at will.
If your child is showing you that they are scared, sad, and hesitant, please listen to them. Take the time to read their expressions and body language.
Do not speak about your child in their presence as if they are not present. They may not be able to communicate but they understand.
Respect your child's intelligence.
Try to give yourself a little me time to let it all out but not in the presence of the child. They feed off your energy, love and laughter or frustration and anger.
Always let your child know how proud you are of their accomplishments however small. This helps with the motivation to do more.
Please do not spank or punish your child for the noises and physical behavior. Learn your kid so you know how to reduce and stop the behavior. Their behavior is a reflection of how they feel inside but cannot say it with words. It will not help but only encourage bad behaviors in response. Imagine being in a foreign country and you cannot speak the language. Imagine you get flogged or thrown in jail because you cannot communicate. What works best is that you learn the language with help and soon you'd be able to communicate better. Same thing here.
Everyday work on bridging the communication gap. Every little bit helps.
Empower yourself with knowledge to reduce the frustration. We understand that sometimes that's easier said than done. We get it. Just keep trying.
Your support has to be unwavering to get the right level of support from others.
Your child needs all the love and support from you, family and friends, teaching and guidance with lots and lots of patience and understanding.
Speak to and with your child as you would to any other sibling even if they do not acknowledge you or speak back.
You know your child best. You live with your child the most. Words from someone with lots of credentials does not dictate your child's ability and potential. Guidance and support from qualified professionals are very valuable, but do not be afraid to keep asking questions or to disagree. Follow your gut.
An important part of learning your child is being able to determine if the therapy or other treatments that are being used is helpful or hurting them. Do not be afraid or too overwhelmed to ask for and demand change.
Your child needs you and is depending on you to fight for them and to put them in the best position to grow and glow.
Be proud of your child even when you get the stupid stares and comments. Let your child see that your are proud and that your love is limitless. They will feed off your positive energy.
Fight every day. Let your child feel your love even when it may seem undoable in the toughest moments. It will help you and the child.
This is probably the toughest thing you will ever have to do but if you never give up, you and your child can and will be the best version of yourselves.
Some break throughs may take longer than others
You need support too for this journey. Fight for you. Work on your perspective of things. That's important. That's extremely important for your mental and physical strength and health.
RESOURCES
